Almost every day I come across a listing in the MLS that makes me say “WTF.” Sometimes listing photos look like they were taken by a flip phone and other times the property description looks like it was written by a child. However, today I was sent a listing in Avon, Connecticut that actually made me fear for the selling agent’s life and for anyone else that goes to see it. There is nothing wrong with the marketing, but there is definitely something wrong with the house. Let’s take a look at the photos.
Apart from the Blair Witch sculptures aligning the pathway leading to the door, the front of the house is not that horrifying. Don’t get me wrong it definitely looks cursed, but it looks salvageable.
The second we enter the home it goes from interesting to creepy AF. Look at the chairs. Look at the men’s boxers hanging next to the table. Look at the tarot cards on the china in front of the table. Look at that little bird house thing in the back. Look at the wallpaper. Look at details of the chairs. Also, notice that there is a cloth that leads directly outside. There is no wall there. Also, look at the “cooling system” above the curtain. It’s a fan that is plugged into nothing.
Look at the face on that thing on the left side of the photo. Look at the drawings on the…thing over the fireplace. The chairs are facing each other. You know why? Two demons were having tea discussing how they plan on possessing the first little girl that moves in.
We continue our journey to the butler’s pantry that includes some more cursed copper finishes and a half eaten witch’s broomstick over the wet bar. Complementary human heads in the cabinets come with the purchase of the house!
This is the pilates room where you can exercise with the little boy from The Grudge.
This is listed as a spacious two car garage or “victim storage room.”
In the bathroom we have scratches from one of the many hostages counting down the days until their inevitable execution…. or as the realtor puts it: “detailed finishes in the powder room.”
This was the last photo taken. The photographer was never seen again.
This house is the most ridiculous piece of real estate I have ever seen in my entire life. Can someone please call up the listing agent and ask: “why are they selling?” I am too scared too… Whoever buys this house needs to burn it to the ground before we see a movie about it.
Below is the actual listing on Zillow. It’s priced $339,900.