The first impression of your home is the yard. These yards speak very clearly about their owners and look like they aren’t feeling much love. If yards could speak, I imagine this is what they would say:
My owner mows me when needed and is a boring square that has no life. You can tell this from the absence of color, the lonely chair on the porch, and the lack of a living organism for miles.
My owner is a busy guy and doesn’t give a shit about taking care of me. He thinks these are pretty flowers.
My owner allows these dried up weeds to grow so that he can discretely spy on the neighbors. He only waters them occasionally with his own piss.
My owner acts out scenes from Jurassic Park and takes selfies with the fake dinosaur. My owner is a massive NERD.
My owner is a total slob. The old mattress and shredded up tire have been laying there for over a year and he doesn’t even own a rake.
My owner hates everyone. Go away.
My owners value their privacy. Bring your own machete and enter at your own risk.
My owner runs female mud-wrestling tournaments every weekend in the summer.
My owner used to skateboard in the pool until he discovered heroine.
My owner is friends with the skateboarding owner in the last photo and he uses his pool as a toilet.
My owner let’s his two huge pets stomp on me, eat me, and shit on me.
My owner is too cheap for real fertilizer.
My owner planted a tree blocking the driveway. What a moron.