Welcome to Water Cooler Talk, a weekly review of sports events that I find mildly interesting.
Disclaimer: There’s a good chance I hate your team.
The comeback for Tiger Woods got off to a rocky start as his missed the cut in the Farmers Insurance Open, his first PGA tour in 17 months.
Xmas tradition that my kids love. Mac Daddy Santa is back! -TW pic.twitter.com/pCWZNNKPRG
— Tiger Woods (@TigerWoods) December 22, 2016
Golf fans everywhere had to dial back the “Is Tiger Woods Back?” meter from “Mac Daddy Santa Back” to “Not Back”.
Last time Jason Day, Dustin Johnson and Tiger Woods all missed the cut was the 2011 PGA Championship.
— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) January 27, 2017
Spin zone: Jason Day and Dustin Johnson also missed the cut so he played just as well as two Top 10 golfers!
Coach K & Duke
ICYMI: Coach K met with players and banned them from the locker room and wearing Duke apparel. https://t.co/hQW7gTyWNd
— ESPN (@espn) January 27, 2017
After losing to N.C. State on their home court for the first time since 1995, Coach K punished the Duke basketball team by banning them from locker room and from wearing any Duke gear. These student athletes now have fewer privileges than a freshman communications major with a gym pass and a Blue Devils sweatshirt.
This is just a comically ridiculous punishment to give players that net the school millions while receiving nothing BUT free athletic gear and access to locker room and athletic facilities (and a free education, I guess).
I’m curious about the logistics. Where are the players changing? Are there people checking their outfits? Does Coach K have assistants go into classrooms to make sure Luke Kennard is in proper dress code?
Also who locked the doors? It couldn’t have been Coach K seeing as he’s at home resting his back so that he can return just in time for the tournament. Little tip for Coach K: If you’re mad that your team isn’t playing as well as you hope, maybe schedule your back surgery in the Summer so you can actually be there to coach them face to face.
Another trip by Grayson Allen? pic.twitter.com/D4Rm8j844t
— jerry whitesell (@jerome1958) January 31, 2017
But then again, I get not wanting to be anywhere near Grayson Allen.
It’s the beginning of the year, so it’s time for the Cleveland Cavaliers to struggle and Lebron James to make some headlines. Two years ago, it was him sulking until the team traded for Timofey Mozgov, J.R. Smith, and Iman Shumpert. Last year, he took two weeks off to “recover” in Miami. This year, instead of subtweets and vacations, he just lashing out at his front office and some of his large (figuratively and literally) critics.
First, he lashed out at his front office for not getting him a playmaker to fill the empty spot on their roster. It’s really hard to win in the Eastern Conference with only two All-Stars and one of the best offensive rebounders in the game.
Charles Barkley went on to tell Lebron to stop whining which led to a complete and total evisceration of Chuck by LeBron. Yikes, I sound like a Buzzfeed writer talking about a John Oliver skit.
Everything Lebron said is the truth, and to be honest, Chuck’s shtick has gotten a little old. It was funny when everyone on “Inside The NBA” would call him fat and photoshop him in ridiculous outfits but now all he does is disparage the current state of basketball, complain about star players, and rant incoherently about how successful teams play the game the wrong way. Because watching his fat ass getting easily beat by Jordan was really enjoyable.
There’s two sides to every story:
- Lebron is a huge attention grabbing baby that needs to shut up, take a couple losses, and wait for the rest of his team to get healthy. Also, when going off on Charles, he made him sound a lot cooler than he is. I want to hang out with the guy that misses All-Star Games because he’s too busy partying in Las Vegas. Hell, he can even throw me out a window. As long as it’s on the first floor.
- Lebron is a genius. The Cavaliers are having a try out for tons of famous washed up players like Lance Stephenson, Kirk Heinrich and Josh Smith. Charles Barkley is getting roasted by everyone on the internet for being a broke degenerate gambler that gets insulted by his colleagues every night for not winning a championship. And Lebron provided us with some headlines as there is nothing going on in the sports world besides the whole Patriots offense avoiding answering Trump questions like it was a properly inflated football.
Speaking of, does LeBron have an ulterior motive? Dan Gilbert is a known Trump donor, and Barkley is sympathetic to the Republican side of issues. Is calling them out in public a way of expressing his frustration of the current political climate. Just a little “stay woke” for you right there.
The Bulls suck and apparently it’s not because of their bad roster and poor coaching. It’s because of the young players on the roster not putting in enough work. After veterans Jimmy Butler and Dwyane Wade expressed this concern in interviews, Rajon Rondo went to his extremely public Instagram to call out the team for complaining publicly.
You may remember Rajon Rondo from his time on the Celtics, the only time in his career he was successful. Playing point guard is pretty easy when you can pass to three future Hall Of Famers. Since then, Rondo has bounced from team to team for one year stints. If there is anyone that should be commenting on team chemistry, he’s last on the list. Stick to Connect-Four, Rajon.
One of the most memorable tennis tournaments in some time. Venus versus Serena! Federer versus Nadal! Me versus staying up until 3 am!
I didn’t watch either of these matches.
I lost in three straight sets.
Shockingly, I did actually watch the Pro Bowl and it was just as awful as advertised.
Although I heard the skills competition was fun. Glad I watched the actual game rather than that.
— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) January 27, 2017
Alex Smith’s inability to throw a dodgeball. In his defense, it’s hard for him to throw anything farther than five yards.
The players could run through a wall.
— ESPN (@espn) January 26, 2017
Ezekiel Elliott busting thru a wall like the Kool-Aid Man. Too bad Jason Garrett didn’t give him the opportunity to bust thru the end zone in the NFC Divisional Game.
— SB Nation NFL (@SBNationNFL) January 27, 2017
Wide Receivers catching balls falling from the sky. It’s nice to see something dropped by a drone that doesn’t kill dozens of people.
And the actual game was… All defense, which is exactly what you want out of a Pro Bowl.
At least there were some Solid Celebrations…
— Chat Sports (@ChatSports) January 30, 2017
From Michael Bennett….
— Marquette King (@MarquetteKing) January 30, 2017
To Travis Kelce…
— AqibTalib21 (@AqibTalib21) January 30, 2017
And even Aqib Talib had a little fun trying to snatch other Raiders’ chain
— Chat Sports (@ChatSports) January 30, 2017
The game was won when Andy Reid faked a field goal to convert a first down, which may have been the riskiest move he’s ever made in his coaching career. I couldn’t find the stat for most Pro Bowl victories as a coach, but there’s no doubt in my mind that he owns that record.
It’s just too bad he wasn’t given an opportunity to blow the game in the last two minutes.
— Washington Redskins (@Redskins) January 30, 2017
That opportunity was given to Kirk Cousins who threw a late interception to seal the game for the AFC. That didn’t stop Gruden from praising his effort. I hope he never goes back to coaching because he sells these meaningless and awful NFL games like he’s selling ice to an eskimo. He announces every game like football is going to be outlawed the next day.
Lane Kiffin seems pumped for that new job pic.twitter.com/hlvuoxACXD
— Busted Coverage (@bustedcoverage) January 31, 2017
Boca Raton has done a number on Joey Freshwater and the season hasn’t even started. Either “Ladies Night” at the local retirement center gets a little too “lit” or Lane is being held hostage by the Florida Atlantic athletic director.
Kiffin says the Hype Video was done poorly on purpos to generate attention.
— FAU OwlAccess (@FAUOWLACCESS) February 1, 2017
Sure, it’s a publicity stunt. Just like the time it was rumored that Kiffin allegedly had affairs with multiple Alabama boosters’ wives. You know, to generate attention for the program.
— Ryan Bartow (@RyanBartow) February 1, 2017
On the bright side, FAU killed it in recruiting on Wednesday, being the highest ranked C-USA team. They even stole UCLA’s No. 1 WR target. Even after he left USC, Lane is still stealing players from Jim Mora Jr. who wasn’t in the greatest mood before going on ESPN.
— Dion Caputi (@nfldraftupdate) February 1, 2017
Kyle Shanahan briefly loses playbook when reporter accidentally takes OC's backpack:… https://t.co/5HN12I0Yti
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) January 31, 2017
Nothing interesting besides Bill Belichick paying a reporter to steal Kyle Shanahan’s backpack that contained his game plan. If you aren’t cheating, you aren’t trying.
This week former Pacer, Warrior, Bobcat, Spur, Hawk, Net, Clipper, and Buck Stephen Jackson had some revelations about his marijuana use while in the league.
Stephen Jackson is the gift that keeps on giving. pic.twitter.com/Rb6mJb61pU
— Scott Mizuno (@ScottMizuno) January 29, 2017
Professional athletes smoking weed? What’s next? Drinking alcohol, gambling and having sex with promiscuous women? Someone needs to think of the children!
Luckily, since Jackson’s playing days, the weed epidemic in the NBA has stopped. Just look at players like Klay Thompson and J.R. Smith.
Both upstanding individuals that would never touch the devil’s lettuce. Just make sure you don’t test them if they air ball a couple three pointers in the first quarter.
And that’s this week’s Water Cooler Talk.
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