Welcome to Water Cooler Talk, a weekly review of sports events that I find mildly interesting. I’ll aim to have this out sooner, so you can have something to talk about Monday or Tuesday morning in the office.
Disclaimer: There’s a good chance I hate your team.
Is Warriors Versus Thunder A Rivalry?
I didn’t give myself this question. It was actually a point of discussion on various sports sites and shows this past week.
The answer is simple.
Maybe if Oklahoma City won a game. Don’t let the fact that the Warriors blew a 3–1 lead in the Finals make you forget that the Thunder did the same thing the round before. I’d love for it to be a rivalry. Mostly because of how insufferable the Warriors have become. For the record, the Warriors are my team. Go Dubs!
Their fans are the elite of Silicon Valley that only started following the team once they got good and proceeded to price out all of the diehards from the arena.
— J.E. Skeets (@jeskeets) June 14, 2016
They are also awful at making signs.
Klay Thompson looks like the PBS logo with a fake goatee.
Steph Curry gets heralded for being humble even though he warms up by kicking basketballs and when he shoots threes he celebrates before the ball goes in.
Don’t forget Draymond, whose obsession for hitting people in the nuts cost him and his team a chance to become the best NBA team ever.
The owner says the organization is “light years” ahead of everyone else like he’s some knockoff Buzz Lightyear.
All slander aside, this team is ridiculously good and it’s having a negative effect on the regular season. I’m already ready for the playoffs.
For the second time this season, the Thunder lost to the Warriors by double digits. And for the second time this season, most of Westbrook’s highlights were off the court.
Westbrook on the Pachulia incident: "I'm gonna get his ass back for that one." pic.twitter.com/yJDYes2nXn
— Royce Young (@royceyoung) January 19, 2017
Westbrook’s quotes were in response to the flagrant foul he received from Zaza Pachulia.
Zaza Pachulia stands over Russell Westbrook after foul pic.twitter.com/caGf2E0CoF
— Rob Perez (@World_Wide_Wob) January 19, 2017
Looks like he just killed Apollo Creed.
Westbrook tells Kanter not to greet KD postgame. "E, don't say wassup to that bitch ass *****." pic.twitter.com/nN4iCJFs4Q
— Warriors Talk (@JaeAzizi) January 19, 2017
Westbrook also had to make sure his team didn’t talk to his former partner in crime, Kevin Durant.
You can't just do that, Russ… pic.twitter.com/22gr9oQL2f
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) January 19, 2017
For as much as Westbrook wants to make it known that he hates KD, he has a funny way of getting his revenge. Instead of, you know, beating him in the sport they play (it’s basketball), his pregame outfits throw shade at Durant’s hobbies.
Not to mention his summer, which even included a nationally televised Nike commercial.
Now I love Russell Westbrook. He’s one of my favorite players. But until he can beat the Warriors on his own or get a team that can help him, he may need to ease back on the trash talking.
And to add insult to injury this week, Westbrook was snubbed as an All Star Starter for Steph Curry. Warriors handed him two losses in less than 24 hours.
Hall of Fame Voting
The only time people ever want to talk about baseball is whenever the Baseball Hall of Fame inductions are revealed. But what about the regular season? Yeah, I guess people pay attention then because it’s literally the only sport on besides the Cross Fit Olympics, and whenever anything fun happens we get old, washed up former players complaining about how Bryce Harper isn’t playing the game the right way. If I ever hit a dinger, my bat flip might go farther than the ball.
I guess people care about the World Series too. Go Cubs.
I don’t know who got in. Jeff Bagwell and Pudge Rodriquez? They were pretty fun to play with in Backyard Baseball 2001. Tim Raines? No clue who he is, but I guess that means I don’t have to hear Jonah Keri complain about him anymore.
The Baseball Hall of Fame voting is the annual tradition of complaining about the retired baby boomers that still get to cast their ballots and refuse to vote in anyone significant from the “Steroid Era.” People who don’t want to vote for players who are accused of or admitted to using performance enhancing drugs are imbeciles. The great players of every era cheated in some ways to gain an edge. Hank Aaron took amphetamines every game and Babe Ruth didn’t have to play against black people. The Great Bambino was hitting home runs off of guys who played baseball while they were on break from their shift at the steel mill.
Barry Bonds is the greatest of all time and he needs to be in the Hall of Fame. If not, there should be an asterisk on Cooperstown.
The one bright side was that Curt Schilling received fewer votes than he did last year, which is probably due to his constant posting of racist, sexist, and homophobic memes. At least he doesn’t have to prepare an acceptance speech which will give him more time to write for Breitbart, bankrupt video game companies, or put ketchup on his socks.
Meanwhile in Curt Schilling-ville, he's arguing with a fake Sidney Ponson on Hall of Fame day pic.twitter.com/e7Kc2FYwQ6
— Mike Oz (@mikeoz) January 19, 2017
Or he can argue with a fake Twitter account of a former fat pitcher like himself.
The only reason I watched these games is because I knew I would have to write about them. But like every game in the NFL this year, besides two playoff games, the product has been absolute garbage. If you’re reading this, do yourself a favor and stop playing Fantasy Football. It’s the remedy to not wasting your Sundays worrying about whether you should start Anquan Boldin or Steve Smith Sr. at your Flex.
I had the rare luck of giving up fantasy football the same year the team I used to root for decided to move 30 miles south from the city that they are named after. Since then, I haven’t cared about football at the professional level.
My only two takeaways from the NFC Championship:
— SB Nation GIF (@SBNationGIF) January 22, 2017
Julio Jones is an absolute beast
— The Cauldron (ICYMI) (@CauldronICYMI) January 22, 2017
Aaron Rodgers is the anti-Tony Romo. Never seems to get any criticism for his play in big time games. A couple of excuses came flying trying to protect his image:
- His whole team is injured — every team is injured. You think anyone has a healthy roster after 18 games of bashing your head into someone else’s for sixty minutes. You were able to beat the Cowboys with Jared Cook, Ty Montgomery, and Davonte Adams. Why couldn’t you do it again against the Atlanta? You even had Jordy Nelson back even though he was wearing enough Kevlar that it looked like he was ready to storm the beaches of Normandy.
- He doesn’t have a defense — Don’t know why that stopped him from scoring zero (0) points in the first half. Didn’t stop the other three teams that played this week from scoring and they don’t even have defenses.
And when they do give him criticism, they blame his girlfriend Olivia Munn. At least Rodgers will have a couple extra weeks to spend with his family. Wait, never mind.
If you are looking for the idiot that thought the Steelers had a chance in this game, look no further. One day someone will beat the Patriots, but since that mouth breather, Eli Manning, doesn’t play in the AFC, they are Super Bowl bound. Given Tom Brady’s “Make America Great Again” hat in his locker earlier this year, the letter Bill Belichick wrote before the election to our POTUS, and the complexion of their wide receivers, I can’t imagine a group more excited to visit the White House this year.
The Steelers got beaten by a former lacrosse player named Chris Hogan. His name sounds a generic create-a-player in Madden. Not only did Brady carve up their defense, Mike Tomlin’s response each time was to stick to what was not working.
This Super Bowl sucks. The most annoying fan base in the world versus a team that doesn’t even have one. When have you ever met an Atlanta Falcons fan? People wearing a Mike Vick jersey don’t count. I’ll save some words on this game for next week because there’s no way you’re going to get me to sit down and watch the Pro Bowl willingly.
Did Grayson Allen kick anyone this week? No? Well, then nothing interesting happened in the past week in college basketball. Just ignore this sport until March.
All Grayson Allen has to do is walk in a straight line for people to want to punch him in the face pic.twitter.com/K4UhVfV5g8
— Barstool Sports (@barstooltweetss) January 24, 2017
Update: No kick, but a scuffle. I guess the whole ACC got the memo they can mess with Grayson until he loses his mind.
And that’s this week’s Water Cooler Talk
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