If you are in real estate you probably curse a lot. Not because you want to, but because you have to. You curse under your breath, you curse in your car, you curse on the phone, and you curse at other agents. Sometimes you can’t articulate how you are feeling without explaining to someone that your day was completely and utterly “fucked.” So, I compiled a list of the most common curse words and how they are applied to situations in real estate. I wanted you to know that you are not alone. If you get offended by curse words stop reading. If you are a normal human being in real estate, keep reading.
This house is shit.
It smells like shit in here.
I think someone just shit in the master.
That offer is complete shit.
I had a shitty day.
That agent was a huge bitch, wasn’t she?
Stop being a bitch about it, it’s real estate.
They bitched out, not writing anymore.
(Insert brokerage name) are a bunch of bitches.
Son of a bitch, I have no gas and I am late to this showing.
Damn, that Escrow rep has a fantastic ass.
My seller is a real pain in the ass.
My ass barely fits in my dress pants anymore.
My client is an asshole.
Everyone in this industry is an asshole.
I wonder if that kitchen spoon would fit in my ass.
It’s hot as hell in here.
What the hell are you even saying?
I hope that person burns in hell.
My seller spawns from hell.
That open house was hell.
1) Fuck you.
2) Fuck me.
3) Fuck everyone.
4) Are you fucking kidding me?
5) This deal is completely fucked.
6) Are they out of their fucking mind?
7) Who the fuck told you that?
8) Wait, so what the fuck does this mean now.
9) I don’t give a fuck anymore.
10) Every single time you hang up the phone. “Fuck.“
11) Fuck it.
1) I’m so pissed.
2) The other agent is really pissing me off.
3) I have to piss out of my ass.
4) Wait a second, let me take a piss first.
5) Why is my seller always so pissed?
1) He’s a huge dick, don’t worry about it.
2) I just stubbed my dick on the open house sign while I set it up..
3) I’m really trying not to be a dick here, but…
4) You can tell they don’t know dick about this area.
I hope you enjoyed reading that as much as I enjoyed writing it.