It was not your average day on caravan this Tuesday. At 1:30 PM, a butt naked man ran through West Hollywood destroying every open house sign in his path with an aluminum baseball bat. A witness said she saw him sprinting up La Brea to the corner of Sunset screaming out the word, “ass!” repeatedly. “He was helicoptering the bat over his head like a complete maniac. He also had the smallest d*** I have ever seen,” she said. Hank Gherity, a fellow real estate agent who was hosting an open house in the Hollywood Hills, said he heard screams coming from down the street around 1:45 PM. “I ran out to see what was going on and saw the naked man smashing my open house signs to pieces. He was screaming: ‘if I can’t sell it, nobody can!’ He also hacked down the telephone pole that my ‘For Sale’ sign was attached to,” said Hank. Police are still in the process of trying to find the culprit who they believe to be a “jealous real estate agent.” He was last seen discharging an alarming amount of feces on a bench advertisement of another agent.