1) Stop over-selling your listing with pointless details: I had a showing a couple days ago where the other agent did not shut up the entire time. It took nearly thirty minutes to get out of the foyer before I had to cut him off midway through his historical thesis on the “foundation.” He literally made my client hate the condo and hate him as a person. We were also late to our other showings because of this asshole. If you are an agent, you need to have social awareness. Nobody cares that the wallpaper was “imported from England” because it probably wasn’t and that literally means nothing. Get it together.
2) Stop emphasizing how “motivated” your seller is: If your seller is so motivated then why has their home been on the market for three months without a price reduction or any form of staging? If your seller is so motivated then why did they reject my all-cash offer at asking? If your seller is so motivated then why is he personally emailing me saying that he hates his agent and wants to take his home off the market and re-list with me after the new year?
3) Stop talking about views that do not exist: Oh you can see the ocean on a perfectly clear day if you are seven feet tall through the Hubble telescope on the roof deck that we can not access? Oh you can see downtown from the master if the adjacent apartment complex was demolished? Oh you can see the neighbors having sex through the guest bedroom if you don’t frost the windows?!
4) Stop telling me how busy you are today: My client and I do not care how many fake escrows you are in right now. Yes, we were five minutes late to the showing. Get over it and walk us around the house we are trying to accomplish the same goal here.
5) Stop saying: “follow up” so much: I do not know why this bothers me. But, it does. Agents love saying “follow up” more than they love prematurely counting their commission before they even write. Just say you will talk to your client and get back to me. Also, don’t say “touch base” anymore. It sounds sexual.