1) Larry David (Creator of Seinfeld)
Mr. David was a nightmare to work with from the beginning. He fired me because I tried to elevate “small talk” to “medium talk” with his assistant.
2) Bob Knight (Former Head Coach of the Indiana University)
Bob was great to work with until I recommended staging his house. He ended up chucking one of the kitchen chairs at a potential buyer for making a low-ball offer.
3) Khaleesi (Game of Thrones)
I originally took her as my client because she is smoking hot. However, it was impossible to find her a spacious Victorian in the Hills with a three car garage, pool, and a 40,000 square foot dungeon for her dragons.
4) Gollum (Lord of the Rings)
Not only did this “guy” smell like Orc shit, but he only talked in plurals. He kept calling me his “Agentses” and was always scraping around the backyard for some engagement ring one of the buyers dropped.
5) Two-Face (Batman)
I was the listing agent on Mr. Dent’s home. Every time I brought this asshole an offer he would flip a coin to decide whether or not he would accept it. Then he would just end up killing the buyer.
6) Chumbawamba (Creator of Tubthumping)
These anarchists were clinically insane. Not only were they not pre-qualified, but they would only let me play one song the whole time they were in my car.
7) Sayid (The Iraqi Torturist from LOST)
He was just impossible to negotiate with.
8) Monk (Detective played by Tony Shalhoub)
We have all had sellers who are OCD. Monk took it to a whole new level. He cancelled the listing because I did not refill his Brita water filter to the level he left it at.
9) Al Gore (Creator of “An Inconvenient Truth”)
He wanted bathrooms that filtered out his own urine into sustainable drinking water. Enough said.
10) Kobe Bryant (Former Los Angeles Lakers Star)